Tuesday, October 07, 2014

BRAINFREE IN BRAINTREE! (poem))

BRAINFREE IN BRAINTREE!
(Who put the sex in Essex?)

27/9/14. Braintree Tory MP, Brooks Newmark,
after receiving several testy calls, resigned as a
minister after sending explicit Internet images
of himself to a journalist posing as a Tory totty!

The Braintree Tory Member failed,
In his quest to impress;
When he exposed his member to,
A Member of the Press!
A case, as Gilbert might say of, (1)
“A person most political;
Whose Internet phone image caused,
His digit to go digital”!

The trouble sexting with all one’s,
Accoutrements displayed;
Was the assumption, soon dissolved,
That he had got it made!
Top Tory Totty’s like men well-
Endowed in bod and bank;
But Newmark on the first account,
Might not have been first rank! (2)

The Sunday Mirror story’s caused
This resignation sting;
And ended what was ‘guaranteed’,
An assignation fling!
The moral of this tale is this,
As one more Tory falls;
That bourgeois politics exposed,
Is just a load of balls!

(1) Librettist, W.S. Gilbert.

(2) Newmark passed the second
test being worth £3.2m.

© Richard Layton

Image supposedly sent

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