Tuesday, April 08, 2014

THE QUIET MAN SQUEAKS! (poem)

THE QUIET MAN SQUEAKS!

(On April Fools’ Day 2013, Iain Duncan Smith
on a Government Salary of £2576 per week
claimed he could live on Benefits of £53 p.w.,
“If he had to”.)

So Duncan Smith claims he could live,
On Fifty quid a week;
Our anger stops us laughing at,
His utter barefaced cheek.

“Austerity’s the only way”,
So whispers I.D.S.;
“That means the wealthy should have more,
And the ‘precariat’ less”.

He claims he once was unemployed,
And very short on dough;
So weep tears for the Son-in-Law
Of Baron Cottesloe! (1)

Times were so hard he couldn’t heat,
His mansion’s swimming-pool;
And almost had to stop the kids,
Attending Eton School!

The Rolls was traded in for a,
Cheap Bentley on the drive;
Thus proving strivers come out tops,
Above all those that skive.

He strove his way to power by,
Massaging his C.V.; (2)
A fine example of hard ‘graft’,
For skivers such as we.

So shirkers everywhere take note,
The world of work does pay;
Especially if you’re D.S. on,
Three-Hundred quid a day!

So hurry all you unemployed,
Just think of what you’ve missed;
All those Three-Million jobs out there,
That simply don’t exist!

(1) IDS lives in a rent-free ‘cottage’ on Baron
Cottesloe’s Estate valued at up to £1 m.
-- as is his personal wealth. 

(2) BBC Newsnight found his claims to have
attended Perugia University & Dunchurch
College’s Management Course were false.

© Richard Layton 


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