Sunday, January 25, 2015

Capitalism, Inane Gender Differentiation, Increased Profits

If I had a dollar for every time I wished they made earplugs just for women, I’d still have only 78 cents for every dollar earned by men. And yet! The marketing world never sleeps and R&D has a job to do, so lady earplugs are a reality. As are a whole range of other genderized products no one ever asked for or needed. And so we present, for your reading pleasure, 10 of the most useless products “for him” and “for her.”

1) Pink Guns and Lady Gun Accessories 


















You love shooting to kill but hate the way blue steel butches up your outfit. No worries! There’s actually a bustling cottage industry built on manufacturing the lady guns you want, which obviously come in pink and lavender and “Tiffany blue.” How will you carry all that adorable firepower? Well, there are a handful of retailers that sell accessories for your pretty pistols, from gun holster bras to conceal-carry purses. One company even makes pink bullets, sales of which they claim help support finding a cure for breast cancer. Because what better way to help save a life than by shooting something to death?

2) Candles for Him, or Mandles
You know how regular candles are like tiny beacons of light, illuminating your shortcomings as a man? Man candles, or mandles, are the opposite of that. Burning them around the house will cause you to spontaneously grow a second nutsack so manly it will fight your old nutsack just for hanging around on its turf. Mmandles come in scents like “Black Leather Jacket” and “Hickory Smoked Bacon.” The “Fart” mandle, which the product description reassures us “smells like a FART” is, sadly, out of stock.



 

We all know the worst thing about regular dryer sheets is that they make you smell like you have ovaries and daddy issues. With Bounce’s dryer sheets for men, you can instead smell like sports and unearned confidence. They’re still totally toxic, but at least they’re not, you know, feminine.





There are more at the link but I have no wish to waste anyone's time, just simply to point out some of the triviality that goes along with raking in more profit from a seemingly unaware pool of consumers.


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